i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he high fived his dick after we had sex
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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