It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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