Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
