Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
