Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
