If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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