Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
