I met the friendliest cop last night
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
