I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
