i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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