i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
