Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
