seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
