I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
