CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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