then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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