But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
