You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
