I could have mohawked her pubes.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
