Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
