We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
