His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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