Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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