Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
