"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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