You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
