Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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