well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
