I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
