he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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