They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize