those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
