Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
