You're so nebulous sometimes
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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