so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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