Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And then my night got REAL pukey
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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