Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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