just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize