Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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