This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
