Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
