he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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