This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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