ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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