I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize