Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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