i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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