I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
