how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
