u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
