Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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