it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
