just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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