I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
