I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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