after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
