The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
