Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize