So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
