woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
